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Where I sit down, put my feet up, and try to sound clever.

Typing Typing Typing

Writing writing writing.

Just not here of late.

i am still here and I do have a lot to rant about, trust me. Yet life has become more than a little crazy of late. At the same time, and seemingly out of nowhere, I found a spark, and see the ending of something I’ve been working on for a very long time.

Call The Wahhhhambulance!!!!

Shut up, Scott Ian. Just please shut the fuck up.

As I’ve mentioned before, it’s not the Internet. It’s that no one cares all that much about you anymore (if they ever did. Anthrax was always the weakest of The Big Four):

… it’s interesting that Scott Ian blames the internet seeing as how Stomp 442 only sold 115,000 units and it was released a near full five years before the whole mp3 downloading thing exploded. And their last album in 2011? It sold about 110,000. As for the two albums in-between (each which sold south of 100,000)… well maybe some of it was due to downloading but don’t forget that they were also released prior to The Big Four tour that kinda put you back on the Metal map a little bit. And seriously, until that tour in 2010, Anthrax was not on everyone’s mind (and how many NEW songs did you play on the Big Four tour, and subsequent tours? Right. Nostalgia act).

I’m so very sick and tired of these dinosaurs complaining about how things ain’t like they used to be. Go ahead Scott. Delete your website and social media accounts. Pull your music from iTunes, Spotify, and wherever else it’s available digitally. Pull the physical media from Amazon. Sell your shit only in physical record stores. See where that will get you.

No? Then shut the fuck up.

The Little Bits We Can Do, Part Two

So I’m going Vegan. Hell, I’ve gone Vegan.

This post has taken a long time to write. I really wanted to think this one through. After all, what caused this change, all of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere? Me, omnivore extraordinaire, lover of all things haute cuisine (aka pretentiously cooked food), giving up meat and cheese and crème fraîche and butter?

What the everloving fuck?

While Vegan and Vegetarian cookbooks have been coming into our house for a while, and we’ve been discussing cutting a lot of “unhealthy” (read: heavily processed) food out of our lives, I’ll be honest and say it was a single, simple, selfish thing that made me really start considering a Vegan diet.

“I love fine dining. I love cooking complicated, extravagant dishes. How can I cut all the wonderful meat, cheese, eggs, etc out of my diet and still be able to cook and eat wonderfully pretentious meals?

Then dinner was at a local restaurant called Café My House.

You see, I follow a few local chefs and restaurants on Instagram. Eventually, Café My House began appearing in the Discover People feed and their dishes were making my mouth water.

Needless to say when the opportunity presented itself, reservations were made and a meal was had. Their five course sharing plate with wine pairing was simply one of best meals I’ve ever had in my life… and it was completely meat and dairy free.

(Side note, this is the greatest cocktail ever created. You need to go this restaurant just to have this drink.)

Second, Thug Kitchen and Oh She Glows came into our house by way of Holiday gifting.

Reading through these cookbooks, and thinking back on that dinner at Café My House, I started to see that all the crap I’d ever heard about vegan food is exactly that. Crap. Before me were wonderful, delicious recipes. All made with a complete absence of animal products and a completely different way to look at cooking.

This, in turn, caused me to think about the health, environmental, and humanitarian issues with eating animal products. I realized that these three items stood tall above my wanting of a super fancy dinner. I really started to take a good, hard look at Veganism.

The health issues have been studied and studied, and it’s been proven, time and again that a diet which includes meat, dairy, and processed foods can be severely detrimental to your heath. The China Study is the largest of these and pretty much solidifies the idea that a whole foods, plant based diet is the way to go.

The environmental issues are well known. If you want a good introduction to the issues of food and its impact, especially here in North America where fast food and convenience is thought of as a god given right, the documentary Food, Inc is an excellent starting point.

Humanitarian issues? We all know, or at the very least, have a vague idea of what goes on in abattoirs. In reality, there is so very much more. To put it mildly, we humans are pretty terrible with our treatment of the species of this planet. Yet we just turn a blind eye because business is business and people gotta eat. If you need a simultaneous punch in the head and gut and a kick in the ass to drive this point home, check out Earthlings. The trailer can be seen here. A warning though: it’s a super hard watch and the trailer alone (which is all I managed to get through) will put you in a grey mood for at least a couple of days.

After weighing all this I thought: Fuck it. I’m going to do this. I’m going to cut meat and dairy out of my diet.

And you know what? It hasn’t been hard at all. In fact, it’s been downright easy.

I’d always thought that giving up meat and dairy from my diet would be next to impossible. I thought it would be akin to a junky trying to kick heroin. I pictured myself shaking and sweaty, craving steak constantly or sneaking mouthfuls of cheese when no one was looking.

Since I made the decision, the week between Xmas and the New Year, I’ve eaten meat and dairy twice. The first was my sons birthday; we ate at Beckta (which was reserved in November of last year). A few days later I had a pulled pork sandwich which ended up wreaking total havoc on my insides. After that sandwich, I’ve had no meat and no dairy*.

I basically dove head first into Vegan cooking. The food we’ve been preparing, with the help of cookbooks borrowed from the library, and Vegan blogs on the Internet, has been nothing short of phenomenal. I think we’ve only repeated a couple of dishes. I find it fascinating that I’ve been able to replace every dairy based garnish, sauce, and cream with whole food options. I no longer have to resort to, or rely on, highly processed “food”. I’ll put it to you this way: I love making food for scratch and I now make pretty much every garnish, sauce, cream, “cheese”, etc from scratch… with no animal based ingredients at all.

So here we are. There is more to write, of course. Much more. And I’ll get to it in good time. For now, I’ll pause and catch my breath.

 


* The dairy thing is not completely true. I should mention that for most of January I was drinking coffee with half and half in it. My reasoning here was that there was about six litres of the stuff in the fridge – yes, I drank that much cream in my coffee – and I didn’t want to just up and waste it. So once the cream was done, about a week after the pulled pork sandwich, I was done with it (I was also using it to make crepes/pancakes/waffles for the kids so it went pretty quickly).

Strangely, this had another effect: other than the odd soy latte here and there – like one a week – I pretty much cut coffee out of my diet. I don’t really like the taste of coffee on its own. My “coffee” was pretty much lots of cream and lots of sugar and a bit of coffee. I do like soy lattes so once the half and half was gone, I set about figuring out how to froth soy milk without buying a machine. I failed. You just cannot froth soy using any of the methods found on the Internet. 

Paying five or six dollars for a soy latte every day and/or paying whatever is being charged these days for an espresso machine did not appeal to me in the slightest. So I basically gave up drinking coffee every day. Caffeine isn’t good for you anyway, so I may as well cut way, way back while i cutting everything crappy out of my diet.

Funny thing. The other day we made fajitas. For the kids, we made chicken and they had sour cream and shredded cheese (I’ll touch on this in a forthcoming entry). For us it was fried portobello mushrooms, cashew cream, and home made, fire roasted tomato salsa. Cleaning off the table, I took the spoon from the cashew cream and licked it (yeah, I’m that person) before I put it in the sink. Without even thinking about it (seriously, I was on auto pilot) I then took the spoon from the sour cream and licked it and… holy shit did it taste simply fucking gross. I can’t even describe how disgusting sour cream tastes now that it’s been removed from my diet.

 

The Little Bits We Can Do, Part One

I started writing this post on January 3, 2016…

Normally I don’t make a fuss about resolutions. I know, I know. I’m “edgy” and all that. But really, why do we have to wait until the end of the year to consider ways we can make ourselves better? Yet this is the time of year the local gyms are full of people making good on their resolutions. Don’t worry, regulars. They’ll all be gone by the middle of February at the latest.

Yet here we are. It’s 2016 and I’m writing about making myself better. The timing, however is mere coincidence.

Around the end of November I had started writing the the long overdue “Meat, Potato, and Veg” entry from my birthday dinner when a small series of events happened and I decided to take a bit document what could be considered a New Years resolution… And a pretty hefty one at that:

I’m going Vegan.

Yes, that’s right. I’m going to completely cut all animal based products out of my diet.

… more to come…

The Poor Fetish. 

“How empty if must feel to work a job that could be abolished tomorrow. One that at best makes no tangible difference to society and at worst encourages poverty, hunger and ecological collapse.”

Fantastic read

Happy New Year

After all the presents are unwrapped and their plastic contents strewn from one end of the house to the other; after the dinners are eaten and the leftovers have been packed away; after the hangovers have abated and the coffee and Advil have been consumed; after we’ve all been good little consumers for another year, it’s nice to know that there is still some real kindness out there.

Remember, don’t judge the many based on the actions of a few and don’t belive what a rich, white person with terrible hair wants you to believe.

We all occupy this small planet, for better or worse. We all need to be decent to each other. You just never know when you’ll need a helping hand in your life.

The Blue Marble

Uhhhh…

Listening to CBC Radio 2’s In Concert this morning. Took a quick glance at the list of web stations on the right of the page.

What’s wrong with this picture?

wftcbc

 

 

Your Music Has Had Its Time

Oh Heavy Metal bands from the eighties. You’re so cute in that spoiled child kind of way. I don’t know whether I want to pat you all on the head, or send you to your room like the petulant, snot nosed whiners that you are.

Remember that shit your parents told you when you were a teenager? “One of these days you’ll grow up.” 

Turns out, it wasn’t shit. Our folks had been there. They knew what was coming. And, goddammit, the vast majority of us “grew up”. We had to. We had to change and adapt in order to make a place for ourselves in this crazy ass, ever-changing world. We opened our eyes a little and realized that there was more to life than being angry at our parents and living inside our pubescent, rage filled, egotistical, acne covered heads. We saw that we would have to bend, just a little, in order to make life as easy to live as possible. While we still listen to the music of our youth, we also welcomed other genres and artists into our lives. And we’re better people for it.

There are those who didn’t grow up. they refused to cut their hair, cover their tattoos, and buy some jeans that are not blown out at the knees. They listen to the same bands they always have, complaining that “the first three or four records were the best, then they sold out”. We all know a couple of people like this. You can usually find them at the exact same bar every night of the week, getting drunk and commiserating about the Good Old Days® and the If Only’s™. And everything that ever happened to them is the fault of someone else; never themselves.

Hell hath no fury like an old Metalhead scorned.

It seems that there is a good majority of 80’s Metal bands out there who haven’t grown up. And now they’re sitting at the bar complaining that things ain’t what they used to be like back in the Good Old Days®. Of course, it’s not their fault. No sir. It’s the fault of allllll those people out there downloading music for free on the Internet. Stupid technology! It fucking ruins everything!

The fact that a band like Anthrax is still pumping out albums, and are honestly confused that hardly anyone is buying them, amuses me. They blame digital downloading and/or streaming for the lack of sales. They never once think that people just don’t care that much about them anymore. The Same can be said for Queensrÿche. Or, at least, their new singer who thinks the internet is responsible for why Metal isn’t making money anymore, or how they should alter the number of units you have to sell in the US in order to make Gold status because : “Unless you’re a very famous pop artist, you’re not coming anywhere near those numbers.”

Or this gem: “People are listening to shitty MP3s; they’re not getting all the good sonic qualities of the versions on the CD itself”. You all know what I think about that bullshit.

Then there is Gene Simmons and, well… Anything that comes out of that guy’s mouth is shit.

It seems that the old guard of Metal bands and artists are still blaming the Internet … and the fans for using the internet. It’s the fault of people downloading. This is the sole reason for the lack of album sales and cash that came from said album sales. Even though the “industry” as they knew it has changed because tech seriously disrupted the old way of doing things, bands are still bemoaning the shitty sales of physical media.

In reality, these bands simply didn’t adapt. They missed the boat and the train. Now they’re shaking their fists at people boarding aeroplanes.

The reality is that no one really cares about Metal they way people in the mid 80’s cared about Metal. As with every popular genre  in the history of music, Metal started off small. Then it grew, eventually becoming so big that you could buy studded belts at the nearest department store and everyone knew the lyrics to Enter Sandman. Then it started to fade, and fade quickly. Then Grunge stomped on it. Then Nu-Metal came along. Now, with the exception of a handful of bands across the entire hard/heavy spectrum, Metal is pretty much back in the basement and small to medium sized clubs (or at yearly, weekend festivals).

Some of these bands are doing ok though. I mean, they’re making a living. A lot of the newer bands are hip to the ways of the Innerwebs and realize that things ain’t the way they used to be. They go forth and do their thing and they manage to pay the bills. Some can pay bigger bills than others, but they’re doing it all based on the new way of doing things (which, of course, will eventually change).

The old Metal and Hard Rock bands, like their hardcore fans, are now trying to reach back and touch who they were and where they had been. They want record execs telling them that they’re the greatest thing in the world and shower them with cash. But it’s not happening. Now the though is: “We should go back to our roots! People will respect us again and buy our albums.”

So the bands try and tap into that original hunger.

The problem is, they’re not hungry anymore. Literally. This whole idea of “getting back to roots” is bullshit. You can’t go back. You already made it to the big show. You’ve already got a nice amount of money in the bank. It may not be James and Lars amounts, but it’s not too shabby. There isn’t any going back to your roots when you’re worth more money than the majority of your fans will ever see in their lives.

They seem to take it as a personal insult when you suggest that they may want to just pack it up. Or just hit the road as a bonafide nostalgia act – kind of like what Metallica is doing these days. Those guys managed to avoid the near crushing death of 80’s Thrash (and Metal in general) by changing things up a bit (known to hardcores are “selling out”). They got really, really big and made a fortune. Now they can release an album if and when they feel like it. For the most part though, Metallica is on the road playing sets comprised of about 95% pre-black album. They know while new material is fun for themselves, the people buying the concert tickets want to hear “Master Of Puppets”. Not “Lords Of Summer”.

Metal and Hard Rock bands from the 80’s, stop trying to stay relevant. You’re screaming at a brick wall. I mean, go on and do that thing you’ve been doing if you want, but don’t expect the entire world to follow your every move and buy every album, t-shirt, and button because, regardless of what you think, you’ve had your time. It’s over. Things have changed and the world has moved on.

Personally, Anthrax hasn’t been relevant to me since about 1989. In fact it’s interesting that Scott Ian blames the internet seeing as how Stomp 442 only sold 115,000 units and it was released a near full five years before the whole mp3 downloading thing exploded. And their last album in 2011? It sold about 110,000. As for the two albums in-between (each which sold south of 100,000)… well maybe some of it was due to downloading but don’t forget that they were also released prior to The Big Four tour that kinda put you back on the Metal map a little bit. And seriously, until that tour in 2010, Anthrax was not on everyone’s mind (and how many NEW songs did you play on the Big Four tour, and subsequent tours? Right. Nostalgia act).

Queensrÿche? They haven’t been on my radar since 1992 or so. Kiss? Pffft. They put on a great show when I saw them on one of their final farewell “no, really this is the last one” tours back in ’96? I think? I can’t remember.

Metal had it’s time in the spotlight. Your careers have nothing to do with people torrenting your songs. It’s just that no one, past a few diehards (and fucking Blabbermouth commenters) really cares that much. While people still love Metal, they also listen to, and love, other kinds of music. Newer artists in different genres are scooping up sales and money now.

The video of “Hello”, released on 22 October, was viewed over 27.7 million times on YouTube in its first 24 hours, breaking the Vevo record for the most views in a day, surpassing the 20.1 million views for “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift. On 28 October, news outlets, including BBC News, reported that “Hello” was being viewed on YouTube an average one million times an hour. The song debuted at number one in the UK Singles Chart on 30 October, with first week sales of 330,000 copies, making it the biggest-selling number one single in three years. On 2 November, the song debuted at number one on the Billboard Hot 100, becoming the first song ever in the US to sell at least one million downloads in a week, setting the record at 1.11 million.

Adele: Wikipedia. 2015-Present: 25

Music in general isn’t in the shit because of the internet. Music is doing just fine, thank you. 80’s Metal, on the other hand…

outhouse1

“… When Lennon Died”

 Foo Flag

“You looked when I walked by…”

For the past few years I’ve been attending Dreamforce which is the annual Salesforce conference in San Fransisco. This September was my third Dreamforce tour of duty.

The first year I went, 2013, was good. I learned a lot about the product, and its roadmap, and the Gala performance was Green Day and Blondie, which was ok. Last year was dry. I couldn’t really find anything of any importance as to what I’m working on in the Salesforce product. As well, I took two days of training that, while informative, didn’t even come close to preparing me for the Admin exam I took (and failed). The Gala performance was Bruno Mars; which I totally skipped in favor of hanging out with a few people from the office (we went to Alexander’s Steak House which made the entire trip worthwhile. Wagyu and white truffles? Sign me up).

Needless to say, I was a tad skeptical about attending again this year. However, two things happened:

One: I found out that they were going to focus pretty heavily on the Service Cloud, which is pretty much where I live in Salesforce.

Two: It was announced that the Foo Fighters were playing the Gala, or “Dreamfest” as it’s also called.

So, as you probably guessed, Dreamforce was actually really awesome this year.

I’m not going to bore you with the sessions and seminars I attended (I learned a metric tonne of stuff that I can’t wait to start working on). I’m not going to go into the shitshow that was the Expo floor (although I did actively seek out and engage the vendors that were there – this is new for me). And I’m not going to complain about the super cheesy keynote (even the fact that Stevie Wonder performed didn’t save that. In fact, he was embarrassingly cheesy at one point but that was mostly the fault of the keynote audience, you lame, inattentive, tone deaf fucks).

What I am going to talk about is the Foo Fighters.

And I’m going to talk about them a lot.

Rockin' the Fuck Out.

 

“Well, I met the second son…”

Foo Fighters have been mildly on my radar since that first album came out and This Is A Call hit the radio. They were one of those bands that I considered unique: I didn’t actively go out of my way to say I liked them, I never bought any of their albums, but I never tuned out or turned off when one of their songs came on the radio or was played in a club. I simply nodded my head along with the beat in silent admiration of a well crafted rock tune.

I also got into Grohl’s Probot project when it came out in 2004. This was an interesting album featuring a huge chunk of Metal singers I admired as a teenager. I remember being a tad jealous at the thought that here was a guy who managed to write some Metal tunes and have his favorite Metal singers record vocals.

Last year the Sound City documentary caught my eye. I rented and watched and what I found in myself was a growing admiration for Dave Grohl simply because he seemed to really, really, really love music. I then tripped across the trailer for Sonic Highways and it seemed to reiterate what I thought about Sound City. I made a mental note to check it out at some point.

So when the Foo Fighters were announced as the headlining band for this years Dreamfest, I became excited. I’d get to see a show by a band that I’d always admired in a weirdly detached sort of way…

… then I realized that I didn’t really know them past a few hit singles, a Metal side project, a documentary about a recording studio, and a trailer for an HBO series I’d not watched.

Pat Fuckin' Smear

 

“Fuck It All, I Came From Nothing!”

I started with the Greatest Hits album. I can say two things about Greatest Hits albums:

  1. They’re awesome for people who only want the hits and only the hits (well, duh).
  2. They’re awesome for introducing people to a bands/artists works without forcing them to buy entire albums.

I sit somewhere in the middle. Mostly though, I tend to buy albums based on the tunes I like.

For example, the song All My Life led me to the album One By One.

The Pretender and led me to Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace which, in turn, reintroduced me to Let It Die, a song I’d always liked (although I admit that up until recently, I thought the lyrics were “Why’d you have to go when Lennon died?”).

And so on.

Then, on a whim, without hearing one song off of it, I decided to get the Sonic Highways album.

And Sonic Highways changed everything.

Nate St. Mendel

 

“Send In The Congregation…”

One: I’m not one to wish that bands “return to their roots”. I dislike it when I hear people whine that bands have “sold out” or  complain that “their first four albums were the best” (yes, I’m looking right at you Metallica fans). I also don’t like it when bands release the same album ten or more times in a row (cough Slayer cough AC/DC) or when bands do something different and then try and “get back to their roots” when people complain.

I like to see bands and musicians mature. I like to see them grow and learn and incorporate this into their songwriting. From album to album, there was a maturation of the Foos. At first it was slight; the difference between the first and second albums is mostly production (at least to me). Then, with There Is Nothing Left To Lose, you can hear the songwriting improving; like they took all the crap with members coming and going (and dealing with this in the public eye) and channeled it into the music. The band keep this up with ESP&G and with Wasting Light it went a little farther – mostly, I think, because starting with ESP&G, the Foo Fighters finally had a stable lineup.

Two: While you can hear their sometimes slow progression of the Foo Fighters with each album, it is safe to say that there was not one release where every single song is awesome. There are two songs that are killer and another one or two songs, tops, that are pretty good. The rest play like filler.

It’s really hard for me to find albums where every, single song is repeatably listenable from beginning to end. Really hard. For me, to date, there are only a very small handful of albums that I can play from beginning to end without even thinking about skipping a track.

Off the top of my head (alphabetically):

  • Bruce Springsteen – The Ghost of Tom Joad
  • Dillinger Escape Plan – Miss Machine
  • Faith No More – Angel Dust
  • Guns N Roses – Appetite for Destruction
  • Iron Maiden – (lucky, these guys get two) Powerslave and Seventh Son of a Seventh Son
  • Peter Gabriel – Passion
  • Pink Floyd:  The Dark Side of the Moon
  • Tool – Lateralus

*Note: People who know me will notice that there are no Metallica albums on here.*

And now I can add Foo Fighters: Sonic Highways to this list.

Eight fantastically written songs. Each recorded in a different city. Each taking in the sounds and feel and history of the city they were recorded in. And none of them followed any given formula. I love each of the songs on Sonic Highways for different reasons but I love the album as a whole because it’s the first Foo Fighters album that I can listen to from beginning to end without skipping tracks.

Sonic Highways is a raging crescendo of pure awesome.

End Of The Night.

 

So, Yeah. Dreamforce.

Dave Grohl didn’t give a fuck. Foo Fighters played Dreamforce, a super corporate event. Who cares. Partway through he said: “Well shit. What the fuck happened? This here has turned from a corporate party into a Foo Fighters concert!”

Simply put, Foo Fighters killed it. Sure they played Dreamforce back in 2008 (which I just found out today), and maybe they were good on ’08, I don’t know. I didn’t see them back then. What I can say was that they fucking rocked in ’15. I seriously haven’t seen a band pump that much energy into their set since, maybe, Metallica in 88/89 on the Damaged Justice tour. This band put more effort into one song than some newer bands put into an entire evening… And Grohl had a broken leg*.

The only thing that sucked was that due to time constraints, the Foos didn’t play their normal 2+ hour show. They belted out a solid hour and twenty “greatest hits” set and the crowd was with them all the way; nearly every single person was rocking out like it was the last show on Earth.

The Foo Fighters seem to have fans across all types and genres of music. I think one of the reasons for this is that they can’t really be pigeonholed into a sub-genre. They are, for all intents and purposes, a Rock N Roll band. They’re not Grunge. They’re not Post-Grunge. They’re not Metal or Punk or some weird ass sub-sub-sub-genre of whatever blah blah. Maybe once, at the beginning, there was the remnants of Grunge (the band was born from the ashes of Nirvana, after all). But now? No. Not at all.

Foo Fighters are a Rock N’ Roll band through and through. An awesome, kick ass, Rock N’ Roll band.

Fuck Yeah!

 


 

* When I first read the news that Grohl had broken his leg I was bummed. I mean, I was looking forward to this show and I wouldn’t get to see him running around like his normal, crazy self. But let me tell you, he’s just as crazy sitting down and I can say “I got to see the Foo’s when Dave had his big ass throne.”

Unreal :)

Dave's Fuckin' Throne

 

I also want to take a moment and let my ego and fanboyism take over and say: All photos in this post were taken by me on an iPhone 6 using the built in camera app. Pics were slightly touched up in Pixlemator.